If I Only Had a Brain

Today is BLOG ACTION DAY and it's about time we raised some global environmental issues. On my way to work today I walked past a busker who was playing 'If I Only Had a Brain" from the Wizard of Oz on his trombone. If I remember back to the days when I played dorothy in my year six primary school musical the words go a little like this... "I would while away the hours conferring with the flowers, consulting with the rain. And my head I'd be scratching while my thoughts were busy hatching if I only had a brain". Well I'm just going to point out that he was a scarecrow and he had some pretty good ideas, you might say they were no brainers but I would say he was onto something. Unlike my unfortunate friend the scarecrow who didn't have a brain, we do. We can put our brains together and take a stand to inform ourselves an d those around us about the severe impact us humans can have on our environment if we don't think. I don't hear anyone these days saying they would like to confer with the flowers and I think there should be more of it! More appreciation of what mother nature provided for us. We certainly have flowers even if it takes a bus ride out of the city to discover and I mean a bus ride, you don't need that 4WD to get you across town everyday do you? What we don't have much of in this beautiful country is rain! and while I wish I could while away the hours conferring with the flowers and consulting with the rain, I think I should be consulting with you and the rest of the world on this issue. Lets conserve our biodiversity with simple things like saving water, saving energy and keeping you cat in at night...

Take note of what goes down the drain: Don't put oils, fats or harmful chemicals down the sink-they will eventually end up in the rivers, lakes or oceans and harm our water quality and wildlife. Use a strainer in the kitchen sink to collect solids from your washing up water. and another tip just in case you needed another idea... Conserve water: Install water conservation devices in the home, school and workplace. Triple A shower heads, flow restrictors on taps, and dual flush toilets can more than halve the amount of water you use, which will save you money too. (This last Paragraph info c/o the department of environment and water resources)

Blog Action Day

Tomorrow is blog action day and I will be be blogging along side thousands if not millions of others in order to raise important environmental issues. Please Join US!

So this is reality

I have had to discontinue my part time university studies. I am working full time and now I'm being asked to write more and more as a freelance journalist. I can't keep up with my studies which i wanted to do my best at, since last semester I got distinctions in all my subjects and I did so well. Now that a lung transplant has been laid out on the table like a shifty deck of cards I've decided that the less stress in my life the better. That is why I had to return to the hospital tonight to pick up a letter from my specialist explaining my reasons for taking a break from uni as to avoid the financial debt. The hospital haunts me. Every time I am sitting in that hospital I am extremely overwhelmed. As I was made to wait for my letter tonight I looked at the blank off white walls and I craved the noise that I left behind when I walked off the street into the cavernous hospital. These were my thoughts. The silence. There is no music here. No smiles in the corridors, just the echoes of footsteps. It's so quiet I can hear the blood pumping through my head. There is noone living here. This is not my life. Everything is foreign and I'm in mute. Please let in the voices from the street. I want to cry, in fact there is already water in my eyes.

As I left the hospital with my letter I was handed a big brown envelope with a pink fluoro sticker saying please open at home. When I got home I sat on my bed, the envelope in my hands with the pink sticker looking up at me. I put my favourite record on and opened it. Inside I found a brouchure said Cystic Fibrosis and Lung Transplantation.

So this is reality.

The good days and the bad

The week that has just ended was a pretty big week. I started the week with no voice. I lost my voice from being out on the previous Saturday night. It was a late night and the next day... no voice. I took the morning off work on Monday. It was also the week of my birthday so I was out almost everynight, I even skipped my two evening classes at Uni because I was taken out. I also had the most incredible sinus pain beginning Monday. I'm booked in for a sinus operation on the 23rd of October so until then my sinus' might flare up giving my striking headaches and pain in my nose. Despite the pain I still went out, my nose dripping like a tap. My voice started to come back on Wednesday which was a relief becasue I had to present a radio show on Wednesday afternoon and Thursday morning, the day of my birthday. This weekend I have been so run down and lethargic. It didn't help me that on Friday the pharmacy at the hospital was closed for the apec public holiday and I had run out of medication. Since then I have had to take it pretty easy, no going out and no drinking. Instead I have been cramped up in the house with the cat. I'm at the point where I really need some medicine. I can only wait til tomorrow morning when I'll have to go to the pharmacy early before I start work at 10am to get my medicines. I hope I'll be feeling a bit better this time tomorrow night.

What are the odds

I was talking to a person the other day who I hardly knew. We were talking about organ donations. I was telling him that I had produced a feature radio doco on the topic of transplant. I asked him if he was a donor and he was opposed to the idea because he was 1. A jew and 2. He thought the world population problem was bad enough.

I didn't tell him that my brother's life was saved because of an organ donor and how heartbreaking it is to see someone you love become so sick that they need a liver transplant. I did however continue the discussion saying that people should be given the opportunity to have a transplant should a donor organ become available. He then said to me 'a person has no right to a transplanted organ'.

My brother has CF as well. Two kids in the family... what are the odds? Since your asking, it's 1 in 16. Anyway his liver failed and he was put on the list for a liver transplant at the age of 17.
My family never believed (out loud) that he was going to die because we like to think we are optimists. My brother was and still is an inspiring person, he is extremely positive about his situation whatever it is.
I watched the months go by and the weight drop off my (little) big brother before the transplant. His body diminished, we became rather desperate. After 9 months and two false alarms the hospital called my brother in to the hospital. The time finally came for him to get his new liver.
7 years on he's thriving. He's leading an incredible life. Travelling overseas with his band twice a year. He received the gift of LIFE. How can you take that away from a person? How can you say that a person does not deserve to live? Is not entitled to the chance of life?

I fully understand the consequences of carrying capacity and over population. But it's not only just a matter of over-poputlation but also over-consumption. Do you really need that plasma tv screen or that 4WD? Climate change is something that people are cottoning on to and it's a topic that people are starting to take seriously. Also If were going to raise the issue of over poulation I think that educating women AND men on contraception for instance, is far more important for the sake of over population than donating your organs.

In Australia the organ donation rate is eleven in one million (11 in 1000000). Let me repeat that, 11 in one million. That's about rate of the USA and a third of the rate of Spain. Australians Donate say that most Australians wish to donate but they are not officially registered. In NSW there is a box on your drivers license that you can tick. BUT don't get confused this only indicates your INTENT to donate it does not automatically mean you have CONSENTED.

I WILL need a lung transplant sooner or later. I have now actually started to come to terms with the possibilty that it's not too far off. What hope is there for me if there are some people out there who are opposed to the idea of donatingf their organs? I didn't tell this person that I would one day be on the list for a transplant. I expect one day, even though I might be waiting a while that I will be given the opportunity of NEW LUNGS. But I know of people who have DIED waiting.

Swooped by a pie

I've been trying to do a little exercise everyday before I go to work. I live in a gated apartment block so there is a shared pool. I usually go for a swim in the morning but this morning i decided it was such a beautiful sunny day that I wanted to go for a walk. I got swooped by a magpie. I heard somewhere that magpies are threatened by eyes so I looked at it and walked backwards until I was clear. Yeah that's right I stared at that little sucker and willed her to leave me alone.

Anyway I'm finally experiencing the benifits of exercise. If I'm stronger I can withstand colds and other little headaches better. My chest muscles are stronger when I've been swimming so when I cough it doesn't hurt. I feel as though I'm making really slow progress and am gaining my health back since being discharged from hospital.

Leading up to a transplant

I haven't been so great today, I've been bursting into tears at random moments. Having a bit of a quiet sob now and then. I feel like I've been on the verge of tears all day.
I had to go to the hospital for a follow up appointment this morning before work. I told them i'd be a little bit late. I had to see a dermatologist for my skin to follow up about the dermagraphia I aquired last time I was admitted to hospital about 3 weeks ago. My skin was just hyper sensitive to all the antibiotics I was taking so whenever I scratched my skin a welt or large red mark would come up and stay there for ages. Anyway back to the waiting room. It's was shit to be there and by the sounds of the receptionist they had no idea what was going on or which patient was seeing the doctor next. This was not my usual clinic so everything seemed a little strange to me. I had got lost on the way and ended up in the oncology unit where everyone were sitting in comfortable chairs having chemotherapy. I started to feel ill. After 45 minutes I told them I was leaving. I still had another appointment at the CF clinic which I considered more important. At the clinic I did a spyro, which was pretty bad, it had dropped from my last attempt three weeks prior. The CF nurse was clearly upset with me for walking out on my dermatology appoinment, but I wasn't going back. I am so sick of the usual long waiting times. They don't realise that any of their patients actually have a job to go to, or rather a life to lead. As soon as I got into the lift to leave I began to cry. I'm so sick of it. Appointments, hospitals, sitting ALONE in the waiting room. Over the next three months it's going to be very hard, I have to have many more appointments and half days off work because I will be having all the tests done (it's called the work up) for a lung transplant. I'm also pretty depressed about this, but only when I'm reminded of it (which is everytime I have to go see the doctors or enter the hospital). When ever I'm doing the normal things that I do, I'm fine.

After my hospital admission for that lethal flu my lungs just aren't the same. They are more damaged than ever and I can actually feel the change. Due to the nature of CF my lungs get worse over time but it's a very gradual thing so I don't really ever notice, however I know this feeling now is very different and I know I wont be returning to my normal level of health. My doctors are thinking of transplant soon. It's hard but It's a reality and something I have had to deal with my whole life.

I am ok I just needed to get that off my chest. I promise I wont burst into tears again for the rest of the day :)